The Murphy Monday Podcast
The Murphy Monday Podcast
When Star Power Couldn't Save a Film (Best Defense)
Was Eddie Murphy’s participation in "Best Defense" a career misstep or a necessary detour? Join us as we unravel the fascinating story of the 1984 film "Best Defense," starring Eddie Murphy and Dudley Moore, notorious for being one of the worst movies ever made. We take you through Eddie Murphy’s journey, from his initial hesitation, motivated solely by a hefty paycheck, to his profound regret post the film's disastrous reception. Along the way, we share our own struggle to track down this cinematic enigma, culminating in an eye-opening viewing experience on Showtime that validated all the critical disdain.
In this episode, we contrast the chaotic wartime narrative and comedic interludes that feature Murphy, despite his limited screen presence, as the film's saving grace. We also explore Dudley Moore’s career trajectory, from the heights of "10" and "Arthur" to the lows of "Best Defense." The conversation delves into the bogus marketing strategies that misleadingly spotlighted Murphy, leveraging his rising fame and inadvertently paving the way for his breakout role in "Beverly Hills Cop." This episode is a testament to the industry's knack for misallocating talent and the frustration that ensues when star power fails to salvage a fundamentally flawed film. Tune in to hear our candid take on a cautionary tale of missed potential and erroneous marketing gambits.
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Now, briefly, here are some more entries in our Hall of Shame for 1984, Stinkers of the Year and let's not forget Best Defense. Eddie Murphy and Dudley Moore made a bad film in 1984, and they made it together. Best Defense, a stupid military espionage story. I read an interview where Eddie Murphy said that this was going to be his apology for Best Defense, which was an awful film, and he knew it was an awful film. Well, he still owes us a good one. Yeah, I think so still.
Speaker 2:We've been waiting for a long time.
Speaker 3:Yes, we've been waiting for a long, long time. Good morning, my neighbors. Jesus Christ, this is becoming very irritating. Hey, everybody, welcome to another episode of the murphy monday podcast, the only podcast that celebrates the life and career of Eddie Murphy. I'm your host, nigel A Fullerton. Today is going to be a short one. This is going to be a very short episode. We are talking about the movie Best Defense.
Speaker 4:Ladies and gentlemen, eddie Murphy, thank you, thank you, thank you. This is very bizarre, because I grew up on this show. It's bizarre to host it. I feel strange and I'm very nervous because I haven't done this in a year and a half, so just bear with me.
Speaker 4:I said last year that when I left this show, I swore that I would never do Saturday Night Live again because I said the show was terrible Really and I did 48 hours in trading places. I swore that I would never do Saturday Night Live again because I said the show was terrible Really and I did 48 hours in trading places and I felt like I was an actor. Now I was like Saturday Night Live Ha, really. That was my vibe last year. And after I did 48 hours in trading places, all these scripts started coming from everywhere and I picked up a script called Best Defense. Here's a movie that sucked real bad At first. I wasn't gonna do it because I read the script and I felt like I was an actor. But the money they gave me to do it y'all would have did Best Defense too. Okay, but I read the script at first and the script was terrible. I was like what? How dare you give me a script like this oh, that much money, let's go. So I read the script for Best Defense. I went out and did Best Defense.
Speaker 4:Best Defense turned out to be the worst movie ever done in the history of anything. And all of a sudden I wasn't that hot, no more. So I called up the producer, saturday Night Live, and I go um, you still got my dressing room and he said why don't you come back on the show and host the Christmas show? So I said bet. So I signed the contract to host the Christmas show and while I was waiting for Christmas to come, sitting in my house by myself, somebody brought a script for a movie called Beverly Hills Cop. I did Beverly Hills Cop. Beverly Hills Cop is a hit. All of a sudden I'm an Hills Cop. Beverly Hills Cop is a hit. All of a sudden I'm an actor again.
Speaker 3:But it's too late to pull out, so I had to hold the store. What is best defense? I asked that question a long time ago, about 20 years ago. I had watched the best of Eddie Murphy on Saturday Night Live and in his monologue he talked about Best Defense, a movie that sucked really bad and I was really trying to figure out what is Best Defense. Didn't know what it was. I tried to Google it At that time Google was not really helpful.
Speaker 3:There was no IMDB, so I couldn't tell if this movie existed or didn't exist. So I went searching. I searched for video stores, I searched blockbuster, I searched all these different places to try and find a movie when one day comes on showtime of all places out of the blue. And I watched this movie and Eddie Murphy was right. This movie was terrible. But you find out why. You find out why this movie is terrible only because this movie was not made to star Eddie Murphy. If you look at the poster for this movie, it says that Eddie Murphy is a strategic guest star. Now what does that mean, strategic guest star? I had never seen that in a movie before, but I did some research and I found out that Best Defense is a movie that was for Dudley Moore. This is a Dudley Moore project. Now, many people might not know who Dudley Moore is.
Speaker 1:The nominees for Best Performance by an actor in a motion picture, musical or comedy are Steve Martin, All of Me. Dudley Moore, mickey and Maude, eddie Murphy, beverly Hills Cop, bill Murray, ghostbusters, Robin Williams, moscow on the Hudson.
Speaker 3:But the winner is.
Speaker 1:Dudley Moore.
Speaker 2:Well, I guess I suppose Eddie, Steve, Robin and Bill were just not up to par this year.
Speaker 3:Dudley Moore is an English actor, comedian, musician and composer. Now, deadly Moore used to have a guy that he used to do comedy routines with named Peter Cook and they used to do this on BBC and came to America and started getting hot in America you know about the mid 60s, early 70s and then they broke up and suddenly Dudley Moore started doing his own movies. Now, he started off with Bedazzled in 1967. Then the movie Foul Play in 1978. But he got his big, big break in 1979's 10. 10 is a movie with Bo Derek and Dudley Moore where Dudley Moore is stalking her.
Speaker 3:I don't know how this movie was made. This movie seems creepy. I've never seen it, but I watched the trailer and I'm here to tell you this could not be made in 2024. Couldn't do it. But then you have another movie which was a big hit for him in 1981, called Arthur. Now, growing up, I used to hear about Arthur all the time. Uh, I just knew that he was a drunk. But people love this movie Arthur, so much so that they made a sequel to Arthur and a remake of Arthur uh, in I believe it was 2010. Wasn't good either, but still, arthur is a big deal. So at the time Dudley Moore was hot, like you know. He still had. He had a couple movies that didn't do too well but people know him for the movies 10 and the movies movie Arthur don't you wish you were Arthur.
Speaker 2:Would the more attractive of you please step forward. It's going to cost you $100. Let's make it $200, but I will ask you to Simonize my car. How rich are you? I wish I had a dime for every dime I have. Anticipating your condition, I brought you orange juice, coffee and aspirins. Or do you need to throw up Hallelujah? Kiss your wife like that. I'm not married.
Speaker 1:Keep smiling 6-8-8-5-5-4-9.
Speaker 2:Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature. I take it this bum will be calling you.
Speaker 1:Dad, he's a millionaire.
Speaker 2:You have my permission to marry him. Are you a hooker? I forgot. I just thought I was doing great with you will you take my hand? That would leave you with one. I'm gonna take my coat. You don't have a coat. Oh, I'm gonna take my time. You're gonna rich one. How does it feel to have all that money? It?
Speaker 3:feels great. Here comes Best Defense. Now, best Defense came out in the summer of 1984. It actually debuted number two right after Ghostbusters, which is a pretty big deal because Ghostbusters was cleaning up back then. So to be number two at the box office after Ghostbusters, it's kind of a big deal. Now, no-transcript. It didn't do well. The movie received poor, poor, poor reactions and previews. When they do previews of a movie they're testing to see what the audience likes. You know, if the audience would like this, if we put this out, how would the audience react? And the real audience react poorly. So Paramount didn't know what to do. They were like they were scrounging. They tried to see what they can do to fix it. Somebody came up with the broad idea of saying, hey, why don't we put this guy, eddie Murphy, in it? He had just did 48 hours in trading places, he hadn't done Beverly Hills cop yet.
Speaker 4:The only movie I've had a bad feeling about, when picking up the script was best offense before I even opened it up. The script was Best Offense Before I even opened it up. It was like and I opened the script up and read it and I felt bad, but they had a check like I had never seen before. My morals and principles went right out the window. My career almost went out with it too.
Speaker 1:That was a small part.
Speaker 2:You were just barely in the film, right, they told me.
Speaker 4:They told me. I was like look, eddie, we're not going to advertise much with you, it's a Dudley Moore film. Next thing I know Eddie Murphy, best defense and I'm standing there like this. So that's what happened. Tell us how big the check was. It was big. It was more money than I had been paid to do 48 hours in trading places, combined to do Best Offense. Oh my, that's how much money it was. So that's how I was. I freaked man. You mean, you really were affected by the role in Best Offense. I was affected emotionally, I was upset. Yeah Well, you learned something there, yeah.
Speaker 1:Next time you see a check, go like Well, you learned something there. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:Next time you see a check, go, don't just take it because the script is. If the script ain't good, I don't think I'd do another movie just for money anymore. Yeah, yeah, that's like Well, unless it's like a tremendous amount, because people you can't get mad at a guy for that Well. No, I think they'd understand more if you told them the exact amount. It was a lot of money, a lot of dough. It was a lot of money to do that part for the time that I spent doing it.
Speaker 4:It was like a weekend or something right.
Speaker 1:A motel in New Jersey or something.
Speaker 4:No, it was like I worked three months on $40,000, three months on trading places and this was like more money to work a week on another movie. So it was like Hollywood goes nuts. If you do a good movie, Think about it. There are guys that do like one, two good movies and don't do another good movie for like ten movies and still get. Hollywood is crazy. They just keep shoveling and I would.
Speaker 3:You can't blame people for saying that's a big check, so you know, uh now you have this movie best defense, where you have deadly moore, who's had two big hit movies, as well as eddie murphy. Now if they would have did this movie probably together or not have Eddie Murphy as an afterthought because, again remember, he is a strategic guest star. Look at the poster. He is a strategic guest star. I've never heard that before. But they tack him into this movie, which was bad to begin with. They get rid of some of the scenes of the movie so Eddie Murphy's character can fit in. Eddie Murphy and Dudley Moore never meet in this movie. They never meet. They're in two different years. Dudley moore is in 1982 creating a tank for the us government and in 1984 eddie murphy is the guy that drives the tank. He is the operator of the tank, he's a lieutenant colonel or whatever.
Speaker 4:Get out of the way we have some problems with the tank. It's all right, it's our demonstration, but perhaps we should just move back and Please move over. Said stop the tank please. How do you say get the fuck out of the way in Arabic Run away. Oh shit, Lieutenant, what happened? The navigation system went out again. I'm telling you this tank is screwed. This tank's a goddamn lemon Lemon. Look, don't hit the tank. All right, I'm not teaching you to hit the tank. That's not a lesson. Now, look, I gotta go and explain to this lady why we're doing renovations to our house. To hit the tank. That's not a lesson. Now, look, I gotta go and explain this lady why we doing renovations to our house.
Speaker 4:Oh hi.
Speaker 3:I'm Lieutenant Landry from the United States Army. Yummy, the tank got a little out of hand.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 3:Eddie Murphy is a US Army lieutenant who is sent to Kuwait to demonstrate the XM-10 Annihilator, america's latest main battle tank, which is equipped with a Cooper system. It was played by Dudley Moore. Because of the tank's poor design and shoddy construction, eddie Murphy and his crew are barely able to control or navigate the XM-10 before it leaves the proving grounds and wanders into a combat zone during Iraq's invasion of Kuwait. Now, since Eddie Murphy and Dudley Moore never directly have any contact in the film, the plot shows how decisions made by Dudley Moore affect Eddie Murphy. So whatever happened in 1982, it's affecting Eddie.
Speaker 4:Murphy in 1984. That's important because that means that nothing Dudley Moore did fixed the tank. So, eddie Murphy, would be okay, cut the bullshit Landry. Where are you? Hell? If I knew, if I knew, I wouldn't have to call you. I feel like I'm in gold with the wind, people running around. They're burning down Atlanta or something. Oh, wait a second, I think we're near. Um Om El Cabrat, om El Cabrat, om El Cabrat, some shit. I don't know how you say it but that's where we're near.
Speaker 1:Om El Cabrat Romeo, you just entered the battle zone. What battle zone.
Speaker 4:What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:Landry. This morning Iraq invaded Kuwait. We got a real war on here and you are in a Kuwaiti tank.
Speaker 4:No you guys don't understand. I'm just like training with a couple of boys out here.
Speaker 3:I ain't in no real war or no shit like that.
Speaker 1:Tell it to the Iraqis Landry. They should be on top of you any minute.
Speaker 4:Now Shit, I got to tell somebody something. Oh my God, don't slow down guys. Please wait a second. You're making a mistake here. I have nothing against Iraq. I love Iraq. I'm not in this war, I'm from Cleveland.
Speaker 3:Every time you see Eddie Murphy on screen, it's hilarious.
Speaker 4:All right, that's it. Activate the 50 caliber. I'm tired of this garbage. I'm going to teach this dumb desert cowboy a lesson. All right, now you're going to see what happens when you mess around with Lieutenant TM Landry. You don't mean to Now you're gonna see what happens when you mess around with Lieutenant TM Landry. Nothing works on this damn tape.
Speaker 2:Send out my Rich, little Rich.
Speaker 4:Little. All right, do Michael Jackson Very good. Now do James Brown very good.
Speaker 3:now do james brown hot pants it's like you're watching two different movies and eddie murphy's having a blast in the movie that he's in.
Speaker 2:Dudley Moore is just doing Dudley Moore things I wish he was.
Speaker 4:Arthur in this no-transcript.
Speaker 3:As a tank specialist, like he's just making tanks and he's drunk, I wish that that would have been funnier than what deadly moore gave us. I don't want to look around. Is there a big blonde guy at the bar?
Speaker 2:well, no, I, I don't see. Oh wait, there is a guy just just coming in, that's him. Seven o'clock.
Speaker 3:Sharp In ten minutes. I'm supposed to meet that guy In the bathroom. Check See he says his name is Jeff and he has a condo in the marina, but that's not his real name. No, no.
Speaker 2:Um, if this doesn't go right and something happens to me, I never got a chance to give my son Morgan the fatherly advice and the bits of wisdom I've picked up through the years. Like never pass up an opportunity to take a piss. Mutual funds are the worst. Fat girls tend to take a piss. Mutual funds are the worst. Fat girls tend to come a lot.
Speaker 3:Is that true? Eddie Murphy's movie's great. However, if you put all of Eddie Murphy's clips together in this movie, it's about six minutes. I'm almost positive. If you don't believe me, go to youtube. You can find best defense, six minute clips.
Speaker 3:I can't give any more away of this movie. I don't think I there is anything else to say about this movie. Um, I don't know how to fix this. I don't. I don't know how to make this better.
Speaker 3:This movie's bad. I I'm telling you this to save you from watching it, because you might be like me. You might. It's. This is a cautionary tale. You might want to go watch this and say, oh, this is bad, but this is bad.
Speaker 3:Like, don't be one of those people that like to sit down and watch bad movies and then get like mad and start making fun of it. Like some people think that watching bad movies is funny. It's not funny. There's no humor. It's not fun.
Speaker 3:This movie, like I said, I fell asleep three times trying to watch this, to the point where I own this movie and I can. I fell asleep three times trying to watch this, to the point where I own this movie and I can't get through it. I haven't watched in a long time. There has been one instance where I've seen the whole movie but I couldn't do it and that's why I'm giving you this short episode. I'm giving you this short episode because I couldn't do an hour long episode on this. There's nothing. There's nothing here with this.
Speaker 3:I couldn't have a guest talk to you about what they liked about this movie, because there's nothing to like. The only thing to like is Eddie Murphy as a war hero, and I think that is funny. I think that this could have been like the black version of stripes, you know, instead of you know, stripes with, uh, bill Murray and Howard Ramis, you know. You could have had Eddie Murphy and like it could have been, you know, whatever it could have been like. This could have been like the early version of a coming to America, where you have Eddie Murphy as an army lieutenant and Arsenio Hall as like one of his people in his platoon. That would have been funny. But again, this is not an Eddie Murphy movie. This is a Dudley Moore movie.
Speaker 1:Not that it was a rotten movie, but it wasn't as successful as some of your movies, and that is best defense. Now, looking back on it, do you have any regrets about doing it?
Speaker 2:Well, I only regret that I never saw it until it was all signed and sealed and delivered, and I also regret that. I mean my basic criticism is that the human element was left outside. That included myself and my wife in the film, which was a very endearing part of the film, and was somehow eliminated, and I felt very sad that that happened, because it lost dimension because of that.
Speaker 1:Do you think that people were a little disappointed some people because you and Eddie Murphy never had scenes together. Do you think that was part of it? Disappointed some people because you and Eddie Murphy never had scenes together?
Speaker 2:You think that was part of it. Well, it was never stated to the public or anybody that we were in scenes together. In fact, it was made clear that we didn't have any scenes together, but I guess people just wouldn't believe it. I don't know if it was people. It was just not made clear enough, or something he does. Eddie has tended to appear in conjunction with various people with great success, so it was inevitable. They should assume that he was going to be in conjunction with me. But it's like everybody might think that, you know, every film I do is going to be like Arthur. It's not, you know, and if I play a politician in a serious role, like I did in six weeks, it's not always palatable to an audience.
Speaker 3:And that is a trope that happens in Eddie Murphy's career. I often say that about the movie Holy man with Eddie Murphy and Jeff Goldblum, where they just tack Eddie Murphy all over the whole cover of the movie poster and he's not the main focus. The main focus is Jeff Goldblum. Same thing with this. The poster for this Dudley Moore movie just has Eddie Murphy behind it. They figured that they can make Eddie Murphy the bigger star just by putting him there. And what's interesting and I guess this is the saving grace, what's interesting about this is that eddie murphy's parts in this movie are so good, so good, plus his previous work. But if you look at him, he is so good you want to watch the movie that eddie murphy is in. You want to. And that opens up the gateway of saying, hey, why don't we put eddie murphy as the star of a movie? And that's how we got beverly hills cop.
Speaker 3:Because think about it, beverly hills cop was not supposed to be for eddie murphy. I've said it several times. This is it was not supposed. There was like several people that were supposed to be the bevel hills cop, not only sylvester salone, mickey rourke, uh, a couple other people were supposed to be the bevel hills cop, and they gave it to eddie murphy because, again, he was a big star. He tried to. You know, he gave a movie that had no laughs, laughs. This movie, best defense, had no laughs and he gave it its comedy. The reason why best defense is considered a comedy is because of eddie murphy, and that's what happened with the movie. This movie had to run, so so beverly hills cop could fly and I'll leave it at that. If you haven't already, please like, share and subscribe. Tell an Eddie Murphy fan, telling a Murphy man hey, you love this podcast and, with all hearts and minds clear, let's end this show.